Every now and then, there is something to be said for admitting when you have got something wrong.
I recently made a point about a call being changed to video, and the impression I had was that I had been put on camera without my knowledge or consent.
It turns out that I was mistaken about one part of that.
Apparently, I wasn’t actually seen on camera.
And I have absolutely no problem admitting that.
If I get something wrong, I will say so. There is no point in defending something simply because I said it originally. Being able to reconsider the facts and acknowledge a mistake is far more important than always needing to be right.
However, correcting that particular detail doesn’t change the bigger picture.
The fact remains that a voice call was changed into a video call without that change being agreed with me beforehand.
That was still unacceptable to me.
If I agree to a voice call, that is what I have agreed to. I shouldn’t have to discover afterwards that the nature of the call has changed. Even if I wasn’t ultimately visible on camera, the decision to change the call was not mine to make.
And, ultimately, that incident was only one part of a much bigger problem.
The dynamic itself had become increasingly uncomfortable.
There was manipulation.
There were boundaries being pushed.
There were conversations that seemed to go around and around without actually getting anywhere. The same subjects would be revisited, explanations given, positions repeated, and somehow we’d end up right back where we’d started.
It was exhausting.
And this is an important distinction.
Admitting that I was wrong about one detail doesn’t mean I was wrong about everything.
It doesn’t erase the manipulation.
It doesn’t erase the boundary pushing.
It doesn’t erase the frustrating communication.
And it certainly doesn’t magically turn an unhealthy dynamic into a healthy one.
Sometimes we can become so focused on proving a particular point that we lose sight of the bigger picture.
I don’t need to do that.
I can say, “I got that part wrong,” while still saying, “The behaviour and the dynamic were not acceptable to me.”
Both things can be true.
For me, trust isn’t built simply on whether someone technically crossed one particular line. It is built through the overall way we communicate, how boundaries are treated, whether there is honesty, whether there is respect, and whether the dynamic feels healthy and enjoyable for both people.
And that’s where I find myself now.
I honestly don’t know if there is any way forward with this.
Maybe there is.
Maybe enough time, honesty and a completely different approach could change things.
But right now, I don’t see it.
What I do know is that I cannot simply overlook everything that has happened because one part of my understanding turned out to be wrong.
Perhaps the bigger question isn’t who was right or wrong about every individual detail.
Perhaps it’s whether the dynamic has reached a point where the trust and enjoyment that should be there can actually be rebuilt.
At the moment, I’m not convinced that it can.
So I’m leaving it there for now.
I was wrong about one thing, and I’m perfectly comfortable admitting that.
But I’m also allowed to recognise that, despite that correction, something still doesn’t feel right.
And sometimes that feeling matters just as much as the facts.